Check out this video, and then see my rebuttal below.
Most of his points are repetitive.
Things guys need to stop doing to girls:
1. Treating women like objects
2. Calling women hot
3. Not respecting her wishes
4. Blame game (“girls getting blamed for stupid stuff guys do”)
5. Acting entitled
His first point is agreeable: it is disrespectful to objectify a woman. (Just like it’s similarly disrespectful to objectify a guy… but for his video, we will momentarily ignore the popularity of Twilight in the Christian community… or the popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey.)
However, in this example, Jordan tries to make men look stupid. A man to man conversation is filmed:
“Yea, I can’t objectify her, because she’s somebody’s daughter.”
“Good thing, too, otherwise it’d be totally okay to objectify her!”
Every other conversation filmed in this video portrays men as stupid and women as smart, so I will stop addressing it. Jordan probably didn’t notice this unfair portrayal of men, because the belief that men are inherently less intelligent is unconsciously accepted in our culture. (Even though 90%+ of patent holders are male.)
For his second point, Jordan says “If you want to comment about how a girl looks, fine. But can we try to notice her personality first?”
Well, Jordan, I don’t know if you get out much during the summer, spring, fall… or winter… but women have not made “noticing her personality first” an option for men, unless you take estrogen shots, pluck out your eyeballs and learn to read Braille. (On that note, I’d like a T-shirt that reads, “If my shirt covers my chest, am I being oppressed by the patriarchy?”)
For his third point, Jordan implies that flirting with a girl or asking for her number is rude. In other words, Jordan’s preferred method of dating is the Christian purity culture: become ‘friends’ with lots of cute women, hang out with them and be supportive during their various problems and/or relationships, and when they’re 25 and have finished with their college experience, and have exhausted all of their other options, they might remember how supportive you were and choose to marry you for financial security. (And she might even let you have a man cave in the house you buy…!)
Yes, purity is good. But the church is telling full grown men to be pure for 5 to 15 years full of testosterone before they have get married and have sex. So men will either drop out of church, or stop talking to people at church about their sexuality. According to Covenant Eyes, 50% of Christian men and 20% of Christian women use porn. This difference is another reason churches have more young women attending than young men: estrogen is better suited for waiting for sex than testosterone.
In his fourth point, Jordan hypes about “women getting blamed about stupid stuff guys do.” He conveniently ignores how divorced men lose custody, and pay child support and alimony, even if their wives had an affair. Some 65% of divorces are initiated by women. Of course, any good white knight would come to the rescue with the counter intuitive: “it’s his fault she wanted a divorce.” Because in the end, men get all the blame.
In his fifth point, Jordan says “a lot of times, guys feel like if we’re nice enough, then there’s some kind of obligation on the girl’s part to reciprocate. Guess what, I’ve said this before, but it’s worth repeating, you are not entitled to a girl’s reciprocated feelings. Let’s try to be the kind of guys that are worth a girl’s time, instead of assuming that we deserve it, just because we’re ‘nice.'”
We need to be guys that are “worth a girl’s time?” It always amazes me how much disrespectful language is accepted toward men. Try reversing it, and see if it still sounds okay: “Girls should try to be the kind of girls that are worth a man’s time.” Suddenly, the inner feminist is outraged. But it’s somehow okay to slander an average male as unworthy of an average female.
To summarize: Jordan is right that men should be respectful toward women. But he doesn’t talk about how our culture, including the church, is constantly disrespectful toward men. And just like the rest of the church, Jordan fails to mention that men have inherent, God-given value, or that men are the backbone of physical and financial support for our society and culture.