Can men and women be friends?
Both genders rank their social interactions by what they receive. While women believe they have many male friends, men only invest in friendships if they think it might turn into a relationship. This is why men and women can’t be friends. (One exception: brothers and sisters with good relationships, and other relationships between relatives, are good examples of friendship between men and women.)
Women crave emotional intimacy and love. Men crave physical intimacy and respect.
Friendship between a man and a woman satisfies the woman’s desire for emotional intimacy and love. But it does not satisfy a man’s desire for physical intimacy or respect.
If a man spends more than a few hours a week with a woman, outside of a relationship, he is providing emotional intimacy, support, and love, because he hopes he will “win her over.”
In a way, it is a man’s fault when he allows himself to be trapped in the friendzone. Society has taught men that extended friendship will lead to the best kind of relationship. But it won’t. When a man realizes that his friendship with a woman will never lead to a relationship, he withdraws to recover from the pain of loving someone who has never loved him in the same way. I have seen it happen time and time again.
A few weeks ago, I was sitting at a table in a public place, getting some work done. It was crowded, so I was sharing a table with another guy. I asked him why he was here: he said he was waiting for a girl to show up, so they could work on a project together. He waited for 6 hours. When she finally arrived, she flirted with me in front of him. He was defensive when he realized that his female “friend” liked me. (I could have gotten her number if I wanted it.) After 5 minutes, when I did not reciprocate, she got up to leave, saying she was going to move to another building, and he complained that he had been waiting so he could hang out with her, and she replied that he could follow her. So he followed her.
The moral of the story, for guys: no amount of gifts, waiting, or loyalty for a woman will turn her into your girlfriend. You can wait for her for 6 hours if you want. But there is a good chance that she just isn’t interested in you… and for all your effort, she may flirt with a stranger and walk away.